Wear Clean Draws  (because there’s 5 million ways to kill a ceo)

oh my god. a few months ago, back in april i think, I got a manicure on a whim. i’d never had one before. it was cool but, true to form, i hadn’t been out of the salon for 5 minutes and i did something to wreck the polish. *sigh*

last time i got my hair cut, end of may, i thought I’d get a pedicure — my first ever. i’ve always figured I had the world’s tiniest toes and was never much into the looks of my feet — and have very calloused feet in general. and i’d just never heard of people having pedicures and stuff — unless they had lots of money or didn’t work in hardscrabble jobs that toughened the feet and made decorating them up more trouble than it’s worth.

and the thing is, you don’t realize — at least I didn’t — that there is anything other than hard calloused feet from being someone who works on your feet all day — or close to it. And you don’t realize that maybe people’s feet are different, if you don’t sit around looking at others’ feet in order to decide who’s feet are better looking — god! why would anyone care! people who like feet, yes. but why should everyone care about what feet look like? I sure don’t.

i say all this because of crap I read on lbo, the lefty discussion list, where they’d get all snobby. like, how could you *not* get a manicure? of course, everyone gets manicures. even black people! look at the ratio of nail salons to population and they are in heavily black populations. (because being black automatically means being poor! and while there is a correlation there, it’s not like you shouldn’t actually, you know, examine that correlation to see if it exists or to ask if the nail salons are in poorer parts of town b/c the rents cheeper)

but they’d go on with legitimations and justifications: jeez. it’s not like manicures and pedicures are that expensive. and of course, you simply must get a pedicure. must. then there was some comment about the atrocity of people who wear sandals without getting pedicures. i’d forgotten that one until i did a search. a year later, i made a comment about it:

Someone, about a year ago, had a hissy fit b/c people wore sandals and didn’t get pedicures. Apparently, there are people out there that find that repulsive. They might not use the words “low down” and “scumbag” and they may even say they like individuals who don’t have pedicures. But, IMV, it’s like telling someone, “Hey, some of my friends are black.”

and then there was this piece of shit comment, by a lefty, seemingly proud of the lousy $12 she pays for someone to do pretty crummy work:

Miles writes regarding pedicures:

“This provides another good example of the point I’m making. Why are people so concerned with having toes that look good in sandals?”

the reply:

No, no. It’s not just aesthetics. If you like getting your toes sucked (yummm), then it behooves you to be considerate and offer some really nice, clean, trimmed, luscious toes. Right? Like Redd Fox once said, “You wipe your ass for the one you love.”

A pedicure is one of life’s great pleasures and it costs about $15.00 once a month (including tip). For that, everything gets all cleaned up, nails trimmed, dead-skin buffed off, and a foot massage. If you’re a woman, you also get nailpolish.

which was a response to this upchuckkery:

I respect the deconstruction here, but c’mon. There are so many different styles and standards of beauty that even being “natural” and throwing away all your makeup and fancy clothes becomes a fashion statement. When I was a rebellious wanna be punk rocker, and then hip hopper, my parents kindly reminded me that even uniforms of rebellion were uniforms still. They were right, of course.

Beauty products do make some people look better. Case in point: crusty, nasty, dry, scraggly, blistery toes hanging over sandals. Now, a pedicure will usually fix that right up. Some fetishists might like it, but otherwise, it cannot be said to appear healthy. I don’t think it makes someone a bad person, and I will still be very good friends with people who have nasty feet. But I’m OK with saying that aesthetically, decently maintained feet look better than fucked up ones.

Some of my friends are black!

meanwhile, this bitch actually got a mani-pedi. i got the full treatment: 90 minutes worth of foot soaking, foot waxing, foot oiling, foot whatever it is they do. i have also always thought I wouldn’t like a pedicure because my feet are horribly ticklish. but after having one woman after another insist that i get a pedicure, and others tell me to get over the ticklish thing, I figured what the heck.

and oh. my. google.

i got nail polish, in a bold shade! she was all excited that it was my first time, and going through the display of nail polish, grabbing this one and that saying, check this one out. here, let me put some on a nail. do you like it? it’s a deep rich purple, yes? so pretty. what about this cocoa brown color. that would look so fashionable.

she was funny, so excited. we finally settled on something that had a color with a name that had to do with cabannas or something. apparently, it looked good because later two women came in, saw my feet and said, “oooo. what’s that color?” and decided to get their nails painted with it.

but it is kinda cool. as ugly as i think my feet and toes are — as a guy i knew once said, i have smaller toes than his infant son — i just couldn’t fathom some bright nail polish looking good. they are teensy. but then again, those women did not mock my toes! so maybe not so awful?

but they look kinda cool. i have a stack of books from the library, which i’m going through to see if i like the books enough to take on vacation. i don’t want to drag along eight books that won’t actually be good reading.

but i can’t concentrate because i keep sticking my hands and feet out to admire the color.

:)