Wear Clean Draws  (because there’s 5 million ways to kill a ceo)

we’ve returned from vacationing on the Outer Banks - got a really sweet deal on a rental house just off the ocean, but not ON it, since last year I rented a place that was practically IN the ocean. Since there was a hurricane/nor’easter, I couldn’t sit on the deck because I was constantly being sprayed with water. And even if that weren’t the case, the roar of the ocean waves made me crazy after awhile! This year, we were on Hatteras Island, behind the monstrous dunes that line Hatteras Island’s oceanside, which means you can’t really see the ocean unless you are in the crow’s nest which usually crown the tops of most of the nicer homes. you can get an ok view from a third floor deck and were we directly oceanside, instead of being on the other side of the street, the view wouldn’t have been bad. I did get to watch the sunrise on the beach - free of the hangover I had last year.

Last year, we hung out in the hot tub all night - god I love hot tubs. I need one-a them! - drank wine. I got a little blitzed and challenged R to go running out into the ocean barenekkid, which he did. Went to bed at 3 a.m. - more like passed out. then, having to pee like a racehorse at 5:50 or so, I ended up being awake to watch dolphins splashing across the ocean and see the sun rise just beyond some ocean kayakers.

speaking of, i’m saving my pennies for a kayak. I am a canoer going way back, and still prefer a canoe, but kayaking ain’t half bad. I’ll never be able to or want to afford a kayak though. I mean, I could, it is just that I’d prefer to spend or save the money. We’ll see. Maybe I can get a deal on a used one.

This place we rented, blissfully, was great - no moldy stink, not even when it rained. The one we rented last year had a mold problem, which made both of us sicker than dogs for several weeks. We were already sick with the flu that was going around, a nasty lingering flu that we both thought was H1N1 or something.

On Thursday, we’re heading to Limpdick to see Sonshine! Yay! Yay! Yay! His gf broke up with him a few weeks ago, and he’s been pretty crushed. Had the trip to see him planned before she decided to split, but I wish she’d decided to earlier since, had she not been in the picture, we would have stayed in St. Augustine at the home of the VP of my division. But since Sonshine’s gf couldn’t get the time off from work - just started a new job — we didn’t see the point of only staying at the rental for a night.

So, we decided to do Seaworld. I lived in Limpdick for 10 years and never visited the theme parks. too much money; too poor. If I had money, it was spent on Sonshine visiting. Not that I could care about Disney, though I would have loved to have visited it for the cultural studies aspects. I once taught sociology of culture using this book, Inside the Mouse, which has some pretty nifty chapters on the fact that all kinds of horrible things happen at Disney: murders and suicides, especially b/c of all the weddings that take place there, kidnappings and sexual molestation, not o mention labor abuse. Since the property is not under the jurisdiction of the local police, they can’t investigate - i think I’m remembering that correctly.

I think the best part of the book is the chapter on all the young talented people who work there, donning wicked hot costumes to play the part of a Disney character. In the summer, it is really hot in central Limpdick, and often these young kids pass out — in their costume. Or they vomit. Because the company prohibits staff from doing anything at all that might ruin the illusion of perfect fantasy for the kiddies, these kids in costumes are terrified of passing out or puking in a compromising way, so there are stories of these kids vomiting in costume so 5 year-olds won’t see Mickey remove his head to puke.

… It’s unclear how many of the Disney characters pass out on a given summer day, though everyone is one that they do. One man reports that during the summer a goodly part of his job is devoted to driving around retrieving characters where they fall. One day, he picked up three at one stop — Donald, Mickey and Goody: “All of them had passed out within five minutes of each other. They were just lined up on the sidewalk.” If they are on a parade float, they must simply ride it out or wait until they’ve recovered enough to walk to a tunnel entrance and under their own steam. This can get a bit dicey. Passing out is sometimes prefaced by (and probably directly caused by) throwing up inside the head, which cannot be removed until out of public view.

You’re never to be seen in a costume without your head, ever. It was automatic dismissal. It’s frightening because you can die on your own regurgitation when you can’t keep out of it. I’ll never forget Dumbo — it was coming of the mouth during the parade. You have a little screen over the mouth. It was horrible. And I made US$4.55 an hour.

During the parades, I’ve seen many characters in 90 degree heat vomit in their costumes and faint on the floats and were never taken off the float. There’s so much going on during a parade that people are not going to notice if Dopey is slumping and he is not waving … I’ve never them take a character off a float.

In one instance, Chip of Chip n’ Dale fame passed out where he stood at the very top of the float, mounted to it by a post that ran up one leg of the costume and into the head. While this was a precaution to keep him from possibly falling off when the float jerked or hit a bump, the visual effect was crucifixion: Chip help up by a post for public exhibition, head hanging to one side, out cold.

So, Seaworld. I’m surfing around downloading discount coupons for stuff because I noticed, too late, that there were ones I could have used in the Outer Banks.

I burst out laughing, and still want to chuckle every time I think of it, about the fact that you can go to a sushi restaurant at Seaworld. It’s slaying me.