Wear Clean Draws  (because there’s 5 million ways to kill a ceo)

grumble grumble grumble

i have been itching to get my hands on a keyboard so I can type into an input field and gripe about a few of my least favorite things these days.

Number one is the artisanal class. These are probably what would be called yups or hipsters. They are people that make a godamned project out of everything - and then tell you it’s because it’s cheaper or so much better tasting or whatthefuckever. Even better, they tell you about it in the name of bitching about yupsters and hipsters!

being about 25 (nothing wrong with being 25 natch), and eating fast food all their lives because, magically, they could actually afford fast food, that you don’t know anything about life without fastfood. So then you discover, at the ripe old age of thirty or something, that you can cook your own food and it’s cheaper and stuff. And then you write big old blog posts about it, facebook about it, twitter it. blah blah blah. Because it is an artisanal fucking PROJECT and nothing less than complete and total self-absorption, self-assessment, self-commentary about IT ALL and Life and Meaning and Everything and OH MY GOD it is so fantastic to eat grilled chicken made with my own little wondrous hands, in my own wondrous kitchen and stuff!

And I just sit there and roll my eyes and think, how the fuck is it that you never grilled your own fucking chicken. what planet do you live on? planet richie rich or what?

On facebook, Jiim Straub is trying to tell everyone that he’s not a hipster while also yakking about making his own mayonnaise - and it’s cheaper and stuff.

Oh horseshit. it’s not cheaper. I’m the kind of person who used to reuse coffee filters remember? Because I reckoned that, by doing so, I saved 55 cents a year doing it. I know from el cheapo and how to save a dime. Buying the cheapest of ingredients, it’ll cost you about 3 smackers to make a quart of mayo. It’ll cost you 2.19 to buy a jar of Food Liar brand. If you stock up during a sale, you can get it for 1.99.

Not even to mention the time savings. Jim’s talking about making your own dressings and crap. For fuck’s sake. Like I want to sit around and make my own blue cheese dressing when I could buy perfectly decent blue cheese dressing for what it would cost to make it myself. Fuck. It would take a fucking young person, especially a man, to imagine that there’s a cost savings involved in that. how about time, eh? I would much rather read a book, ride a bike, wevs than stand in a kitchen and make salad dressing. I’ve stood in kitchens making shit most of my life. Believe me: I don’t miss it one single bit.

Also, totally sick to fucking death of the godamned world cup tweets and facebook status updates. I cry uncle already. Enough. I don’t give a shit. i’m sick of the drunken tweets about it. There sould be a way to filter that shit out without having to filter all their tweets and status updates. There should be a way to make all the godamned world cup freaks hang out in the same virtual space so the rest of us can opt out.

I look to my facebook account to distract me with pleasant thoughts. I don’t want to read “YEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssss!” and wonder what the hell you are orgasming about.

I am also sick to death of fuckers who get on a facebook thread about biking and building awareness about the need for a bike path, who say stupid shit like, “when you bicyclists pay for your bike path, let’s talk.”

Oh fuck you, you fuckhead. First of all, I’m pretty sure all the people on that thread who want bike paths are willing to raise their taxes a wee bit to pay for them. Second of all, did you bother to consider all the ways YOU are already paying a bunch for the lack of these bike paths, you fuckwad? No, probably not. Higher insurance rates, hmmm? Higher taxes for paying for police, emergency medical infrastructure, hospitals, etc.? I’m sure there’s a public cost for pedestrian and bike fatalities and injuries you turkey. Third, I’m pretty sure that you, little fuck, probably take advantage of various government services without paying full freight for YOUR usage. The whole point of public works and public projects is that everyone benefits in some ways, and sometimes not in direct ways. Like public parks. You maybe don’t ever use them, because you have a big ass yard. But other people do and it makes them happy and they get exercise and relaxation and they aren’t bugging your yuppie little ass, irritating you.

I’m also irritated as fuck about the term “overeducated”. I rilly rilly hate it when people use it. First of all, who the fuck cares how much education someone has. How in HELL is an educated person a worry to anyone on the left, huh?

Then, I read this as an explanation of what overeducated is:

In present usage ‘overeducated’ refers to a person having education that is not economically relevant to their lives, no value judgement implied. This winds up including many ppl with degrees in the liberal arts, art, the humanities, etc, because there aren’t a lot of ways to make a living at English or whatever. The opposite of ‘overeducated’ would thus be someone who gets schooling (whether at a trade school or community college or elite university) for an actual job like nursing, hvac repair, electrical engineering, finance, teaching or accounting, and then works in that field. ‘Non-producing’ student debt (ie does not contribute to one’s economic well-being) is common among, but not limited to, the sort of people we call ‘hipsters’, or at least ones who don’t come from upper-class homes.

what the fuck kind of definition is this. it reads like self-loathing for one thing. first of all, in principle, why should education have anything to do with economic well-being. WTF? Education is about a million things, but economic well being shouldn’t be one of them. Life is about a lot of things that have zero to do with work. why the fuck is education and whether one has too much or not, have anything to do with it’s value to your job and ability to make a living?

If you’re lucky, you spend 40 hours working each week. You get weekends off. You get 2-3 weeks of vacation, plus holidays and sick days. Fortunately, a majority of your life is NOT spent working, in which case, education might actually be totally relevant to everything else you do as a whole, interesting human being.

an aside from that, who are these people who work in jobs that have zero to do with liberal arts. i work as a web developer and i can safely say that i use science, math, philosophy, social studies, language arts, art, etc nearly every day. it’s true, you could get by in that field without it, but I also think you aren’t a very good web developer. You’re lacking a perspective on the world beyond the narrow blinders. this makes you a better developer - and I’m not the only one who thinks that. CF Andy Hunt for example.

the same person who said this about the overeducated is also the one who facebooked his experiments with “cheaper” homamade mayonnaise. Artisanal Class Yuppie Hipster!

OK. I’m done now. Feel much better!